Sunday, July 17, 2011

Secret Groceries with Wolfie



Today I went on an adventure with Wolfie, a.k.a. Stevie, a.k.a. Orange Ryan *rowr. We've been talking about it for awhile, but we finally descended upon The Restaurant Supply Store, the one with guards at every door to keep non-members from catching a glimpse of the cornucopia of discounted 20lb cheese wheels, buckets of mole, boxes of turkeys and a lifetime supply of fortune cookies.

It was exclusive, it was magical, it was NOT kid friendly. It was tempting to pile 10lbs of frozen raspberries onto our train car that we were pushing through the aisles but no way would it fit in my freezer. I ended up with a case of topo chico, a giant box of tilapia filets, three industrial cans of black beans, tomatillos, and green chiles, extra large bottle sweet red chile sauce, concentrated chai and acai. Ryan and I also split a hunk of white farm cheddar the size of Jesse's torso.

I kept imagining that the legit resturaunteurs were seeing right through my farce and whispering my guilt to the authorities but they were probably just staring at me because of my dumb shorts or something. DON'T wear shorts here by the way. The section where they keep meats and cheeses is colder than a witch's well, you know. It is so cold that they actually provide puffy orange coats for you to wear while perusing their giant dead pig selection. (see photo discreetly snapped on Ryan's telephone)

Anyway, we got away with it and you are all invited to eat black bean green chili at my house because we will never again run out of black beans. Also, in case of a zombie invasion I will swing by your place in my stolen UPS van full of guns and we can all go live at the Restaurant Supply Store like kings.

I won't even mention the additional adventure of Stallion BBQ and the waitress on meth. It's past my bedtime.




*Ruby has called him Orange Ryan since she was a baby, mistaking him for Orange Lion

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