guest post: "PEELANDER-Z. For the Family" by Allen Demling

SXSW…you know, for kids!

If you’re like me, one of the reasons you enjoy reading the Mama Storms blog is to relive those carefree youthful years, before bills, jobs, rent and slowing metabolisms ruined everything. Watching Ruby and Jesse pretend the rug is lava and pillows islands of safety, or the trampoline is the surface of the moon and you’re searching for extra terrestrial Barbie dolls, brings back those times for me. But there is another way! Take a vacation to Planet Peelander! And you can even bring the whole family (it is *mostly* kid friendly).

Peelander-Z is, as they themselves put it, a “Japanese Action Comic Punk band hailing from the Z area of Planet Peelander”. With songs like Mad Tiger, Ninja High School, So Many Mike (about how Planet Earth has So Many Mike), etc they keep things very fun and tongue-in-cheek. They also bring a pretty raucous stage show too that includes banging pots and pans, human bowling, life sized Mad Tiger and a bass player that loves hanging upside-down and jumping off tall places.

I love watching these guys go crazy every year and usually end up joining in the madness. I have been fortunate to meet these guys and they are all extremely nice and accommodating. They even let several of the Austin Facial Hair Club crash on their practice space floor in NYC when we were up visiting last year. Do yourselves a favor, check out this band. And as an added bonus for those with kids, they are hosting the Peelander Family Jamboree on Sunday the 18^th, don’t miss that show!

Here’s a list of some Peelander shows during SXSW:

Wednesday March 14^th, 4:30pm at Elysium, corner of Red River and 7^th St

Thursday March 15^th, 6:15pm at Kebabalicious, E. 7^th and Navasota (all ages)

Firday March 16^th, 5:45pm at Threadgill’s downtown, Barton Springs and Riverside (this one costs money)

Saturday March 17, 6:25pm at The Grackle, 1700 E. 6^th St (all ages)

Sunday March 18^th, all day, Springdale Farm, 755 Springdale Rd (kids show!)



All photos stolen from the internet by Allen Demling the Beard King, except for the last one, in which he is pictured smooching Peelander Green. Thank you Allen! I hope you find 100 dollars floating in a pool of Lonestar this week. It could happen.

BEARDING: An Interview with Allen Demling

MS: How long have you been growing your current, prize winning chin mink?

AD: That's actually a complicated question. I haven't been clean shaven in probably 9-10 years. But I did trim it when I had to get a job, so the hairs on this current face fro are probably about 6 years old. This is probably my 4th beard that I've grown out, but the longest by far.

MS: Many of my friends in the Austin Facial Hair Club have beard tattoos. Is this a prerequisite, an initiation ritual, or just beard culture in general?

AD: Tattoos should represent some object/experience/part of your life that you want to remember forever. I'm having a blast traveling around the country and around the world going to beard competitions with some of my best friends. I'm on a friggin' tv show for gods sake (even though its a reality show). I want to always remember this time in my life. And I think the rest of the guys want to remember it too. So we decided to get tattoos together. It's based on artwork by Bryan Keplesky, and each person added their own personal flavor to it. I added ruby eyes (fits with the theme of the blog) and a gold tooth. I really do love the guys in the AFHC and this is just one more way that bonds us together.

MS: Do you consider bearding a punk rock, anti-establishment pastime, a going back to your natural roots as a male, or just something to talk about while you drink beer with your friends?

AD: Well, it's strange. When I was punk rock I never grew a beard. Now that I have one I would describe myself more of a post-neo-alt-metal-punk-(not pop)-country guy who likes to party. I grew my first "large" beard when I was living in Chicago and the winters were too harsh to expose my delicate face to. But then I moved here and it's not really that strange to have a huge beard. Hell, I even have a "real" job that doesn't mind it. It is a great conversation starter that has lead to meeting a lot of cool people, and we do talk about it while sitting around drinking beers. But we talk about a lot of stuff while we sit around drinking beers. In fact, we're usually drinking beers no matter what we are doing.

MS: You have a sassy young girlfriend, do you find that women are more attracted to you with a beard than when you were clean shaven? Do they tend to be younger or older?

AD: Well, first of all, everyone in Austin seems to be younger than me. Matthew McConaughey was right about this town, they just stay the same age. I have found that with the beard, women are more likely to come up to me, rather than me having to make the first move. I never knew how many girls out there have a thing for beards until I started going to these beard competitions and seeing them fawn over the competitors. It's also a great ice breaker: "can I touch your beard?", "can I braid it?", "how long has it been?". But as you mentioned, I do have a sassy young girlfriend, who also happens to be extremely intelligent, funny and kind. One of the things I love most about her is that she isn't really into beards, which I hope means she likes me for other qualities than just my rugged good looks and model-like profile.

MS: Have you ever had a beard accident?

AD: One time a couple years ago I was riding my bike with an ex-girlfriend at 2am, and some frat dudes apparently didn't like the fact that we were taking up a traffic lane (since there wasn't a bike lane) and just laid on the horn. Eventually they squeezed between us, and zoomed past with about 1ft separating their car and my bike. I slammed my hand against their window, cause I was angry, and to let them know just how close they were. They then pulled over and jumped out of the car. The littlest one just started jumping around like he was going to box me, so 20 year old hot-headed Allen came out and decided to fight him. It only took about 15 seconds for him to grab my beard and pull a huge chunk out of it. It was about that time that I realized I can't get in any fights with this huge kryptonite hanging off my face, so I just pulled out my phone and called the cops (who, by the way, did absolutely nothing, despite giving them the license plate number). For a while it looked like some hipster barber tried giving me an asymmetrical beard trim.

MS: What is the weirdest thing you've ever had stuck in your beard?

AD: maybe an inch worm? There's probably a children's book there to be written, but I'll leave that to you.

MS: What are we going to do with Miletus?

AD: Slash his tires. (inside joke)

MS: You are somewhat of a local celebrity due to running for city council, and now the reality show Whisker Wars. Do you think your 15 minutes of fame is up or do you plan to ride your beard all the way to the top?

AD: I've been very fortunate, I think I've had more than my 15 minutes. But I also think that if you are an interesting/nice/genuine/hard working person, good things will happen. There are so many cool people doing interesting things in this town. Who knows whats next for me, but I'm just going to keep hanging out with my friends and enjoying life, and leave the rest up to the gods of Valhalla.

MS: What was the best/worst thing about being on the show?

AD: The best thing was getting to go to Norway. It's an amazing country, with a beautiful landscape, and the people are genuinely friendly. We participated in their Constitution Day Parade, and there must have been 20,000+ people lining the streets cheering us on (I'm not exaggerating, there were more people than I've seen at any Independence Day Parade I've ever been to). Also, it was russefeiring there. I will let you look that up yourself, but it was awesome. I would recommend Norway to anyone. I wouldn't say there is a worst thing, just a most uncomfortable thing. I'm actually a pretty shy person around people I don't know, so it is a little uncomfortable when people come up to me and ask for my picture or talk about my beard. I don't mind it, I just don't know what to talk about, so I'm worried that I end up seeming stand-offish.

MS: Do you get tired of people touching your beard, or does it just flatter you?

AD: I don't mind people touching my beard. But if my girlfriend is there, you'd better ask her permission first.

MS: I'm trying to imagine you as a kid, but you still have a beard on your kid face. Have you experimented with facial hair since puberty? Did you always have an interest in it?

AD: I actually didn't have facial hair till my senior year in college. I was pretty clean cut as a kid. Now I can't imagine myself without some sort of facial hair.

MS: Have you begun to secretly scorn men who are slaves to the razor, and do you think the world would be a better place if everyone let their face grow free?

AD: To each their own. I think everyone should at least try growing out their beards once, but if you don't like it that's your own prerogative. I'm not a big fan of people who tell others how they should dress or look or act. We already get enough of that from the mass media.

MS: Here's a free spot for a beard tirade:

AD: I know it's sappy and ridiculous, but I feel like the last couple of years have been the best in my life, and having a beard has been a big part of that. Doesn't that sound stupid? But I've met wonderfully awesome/artistic mommy bloggers, dudes who make one of the most hilarious zines in town, dudes in great bands, people who started their own businesses, etc. I can't dismiss the fact that having a beard may have been at least the catalyst that got us to get to know each other better and form lasting friendships. What a sap! ****

Allen Demling is a mechanical engineer residing in Austin, Texas and can be found rescuing treed kittens and sitting on patios, stroking his prize winning beard and thinking deep thoughts.

Let's date

The hot date! I almost forgot. It happened. It was magical and marvelously, monstrously satisfying.

Joanna was a champ and came to our raucous living room in time for us to make social hour at Uchiko. I could talk for pages about the delectable pampering we received at the hands of Ali, who was our personal sushi master (18 years of experience) for over two hours. It was a feast for my eyes and my palette to watch him at work, and I hardly wanted to eat it when he completed each beautiful little pile but I did. I swooned. Warm saki, squid ink reduction? fried anise, fried milk. I wish I could remember the names of everything, but it's best I don't make you too hungry.

I have a hard time being spoiled in any way, it makes me uncomfortable when I know someone is expending great energy for my smallest comfort. I don't get massages, don't get pedicures, I never send a plate back at a restaurant-there could be an entire braid of hair in it, but I don't want to have them throw it away and remake it, horror! I don't even order things from cocktail waitresses and I used to be one.

However, because he was such an artist this time I just soaked it all in. I could tell he took pride in the food and presentation and it gave him pleasure to see us licking our chops. Aside from gastronomically it was also psychologically good for me.

We sneaked back home to grab our bikes (thanks for loaning us your sweet mount Allen, you saved our marriage!) and had a glorious ride, not too cold or warm, bombing down hills, cutting through campus, running stop lights. Fueled by gold sushi we owned the streets and reveled being just two again.

We skidded into the Club DeVille parking lot like a couple of twitterpated rascals and I pulled my heels from my purse and switched out of my blue sneaks to become...Amazon Cape Girl , who never spends her days changing diapers and doing dishes, nay! She only wears impractical and beautiful clothing, sups on ambrosia and elk foam, and flits around on the arm of a handsome minstrel without a care of the hour.

We had the good fortune to schedule our date on the same evening as the LAST WALTZ and the music was amazing, soul warming and nostalgic. We embraced a dozen friends, sipped gin drinks with elderberry flower and orange bitters and sneaked out by midnight for one last jaunt to the east side and our favorite patio at the Yellow Jacket. We cheered the manly exertions of the next table's arm wrestling competition, met up with Heidi and Matt and snuggled amongst the bamboo.

Rather than risk death by frat boy drunken mow-down we called up Adrian with his illegal pickup truck-gypsy cab and had a leisurely escort back to reality.

If my memory had a belly, it would be fat and happy.

2nd Annual Trashcan Regatta!

Okay, so my friends are more awesome than your friends. Don't take offense! Just enjoy this hilarious proof. We dragged poor Grambie and Pops into the sweltering heat to witness this punk rock phenomenon, boats made from trash and powered by humans trying not to sink and racing each other across Ladybird Lake. (for a grand prize of a new tattoo and a wooden trophy) AND GLORY.

The video is from last year's race for alas, we got there just minutes too late to catch the action. The aluminum boat with stovepipe was this year's champion and sunburns and lonestars were absorbed by all.

Emma, Allen, and ice cream

Meet Emma, well read, well inked, foxy and feisty. She's the neighbor that brings you homemade doughnuts and carries a big knife (right next to her lipstick).

Also, please meet Allen Demling. Bearded, brazen, bicycled. I met him years ago when he was running for city council and we've spent quite a few holidays together since. Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with him about beard culture and beard fashion, and what it was like starring in the new reality show Whisker Wars. I guess he plays softball too, but we were much too busy eating ICE CREAM.