BEARDING Part 2: An Interview With Alex LaRoche

The second interview in a two part series about bearding and beard culture.

Meet Alex LaRoche, one of the best dudes to ever stomp the earth in colorful tennis shoes and an old and dear friend of mine. I'll never forget the epic costume parties we used to organize at our rental on the east side. Live bands, djs, dancing, our deck was the stage and our neighbors the cemetery and gospel church. We hollered in shorts together for 5 years of kickball and he filmed the super 8 footage at our wedding. (held in the side yard of said crappy rental house) Now we're "grown-ups", he starring in a tv show and I chasing babies. We see each other on holidays and birthdays if we're lucky. He is the proud owner of my Colorado Storms Jeep.

MS: Your dad has a cool beard. Did you always know you would grow up to be a
beard guy?

ALR: Dad had a beard when he and mom got married. But I only knew him with a moustache until this summer when he started growing out his full beard. It is waaay better than mine. His Moustache is insane now too. (note photo evidence)

MS: When we were roommates, you had chops but were clean-shaven. You were also a vegetarian. Do you find that beard wearing and eating of roasted meats such as a leg of mutton and home smoked bacon go hand in hand?

ALR: Actually, I started growing my first beard during sxsw of 2005. I was dating a girl at the time who loved beards. She also used to date Bryan Nelson (another friend on the show) back in the day. When I went out to Cupertino to interview for a job one of the interviewers asked about my beard and years later told me that it was the reason they hired me.

Before that I had sideburns for years and tried to grow a moustache once when I was working at a sandwich shop in west lake to piss off
the GM (he had one of those caterpillar-Magnum-PI style nut dusters).

But yes, I was vegetarian. Now I'm not. I am not sure what changed.
I think I just wanted to eat hot wings or Brisket or something. I was 30 lbs lighter back then. THANKS FOR BRINGING UP HOW FAT I'VE GOTTEN!

MS: Do you know any viking jokes?

ALR: There is nothing funny about Vikings except that they discovered the new world first and kept it a secret because the fishing and hot native ladies were so sweet.

MS: Do you find that hiding a good portion of your face gives you confidence or anonymity?

ALR: I think that if I wanted to fit in and disappear more I would shave. A bright red beard is hard to ignore which may be one of the reasons that I keep it. I definitely think having the beard boosts my confidence to a degree. One benefit is that it keeps the oils in my face somewhat under control which prevents complexion issues. Also 80% of my face covered by hair hides 80% of my blemishes.

However, when Bryan, Demling and I walk down the street or the airport terminal together, folks yell "La Grange!" or "ZZ-Top!" which kind of makes us anonymous.

MS: Have you met many young ladies with facial hair fetishes?

ALR: Certainly I have met a bunch of ladies who love facial hair and many who just don't understand yet how awesome it is. I think many of the ladies that like beards had fathers or grandfathers with beards and those memories of comfort are attractive.

I married a gal who used to like my beard, (see hot librarian photo) but it is far too long for her now and she wants it to be shorter. One day I'll have a short beard again but I'm too busy making spaceships out of mine to cut it off just yet.

MS: You have traveled the world for your competitions. Norway for the world beard and moustache competition and LA for the Whisker Wars series. Would you call it a hobby or a lifestyle?

ALR: I think the hobby and joke of growing a huge beard has definitely taken over as a lifestyle. I'm not sure how comfortable I am writing that, but it is true. The Austin Facial Hair Club does spend a lot of time doing events in Austin as well as around the country (and the world). We have at least one competition somewhere every month. We have several business meetings and social events in Austin as well. Some might say it is too much but we manage to raise enough money to help pay for other team members to travel around with us. We meet and hang out with a ton of really nice and fun people. We drink a lot, we eat great food, and sometimes we win trophies (but not that often).

MS: For the reality show, did they coach you or lead you into scenarios at all? Were you surprised, pleased or annoyed at the way they portrayed you in the final cut?

ALR: With any "reality" show there is a bit of coaching that can get annoying like "say that again" or "turn this way" or "walk in through the door again." But as far as the drama goes it's all sort of smushed together. Our (AFHC) characters in the show are rowdy, rambunctious, and occasionally accidentally irreverent about the old-school beard culture. For example I wore Texas flag swim trunks in Norway because I had an octopus beard. I thought that made sense. However, when 60 year-old bros come out wearing $3000 suits and $500 handmade ties it can make you feel like an ass.

Other characters in the show are mostly portrayed correctly as well. Myk is a rad dude (who we are trying to get to move to Austin with his wife and almost-daughter). Aarne is a sweet and brilliant guy. Those other dudes are in their own world. I don't really like to talk
about or mention them by name anymore.

I am happy about the way that they portrayed me and the team. I find it interesting that at the beginning of the show we were like "This guy is just trying to make money and brand us blah blah." Then in later episodes you see us selling tons of merch. Now we actually have to send cease-and-desist notes to beard teams who steal our logos and so on. We have greater than 20 different Koozie designs we have made over the years. It has become slightly ridiculous, but now it's gotten into this totally different realm of fun.

MS: Where can we watch episodes and when is the new season starting?

ALR: I'm not at liberty to say when the 2nd season is starting but you can read more here:
http://www.ifc.com/videos/whisker-wars-season-2-coming-soon

As far as watching the 1st season it can be found on iTunes, and now airing in the UK. I don't get any money for buying the shows, so don't feel obligated to do so.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/whisker-wars-season-1/id451234777

MS: I love your freestyle category, I know you use hairspray and beer cans to shape your designs, any other style secrets for burgeoning facial hair growers?

ALR: I'd say take care of your beard when it is short. Use conditioners or oils that you like. When it gets longer and you want to try out some freestyle ask some folks who have used rollers before for some techniques (ladies, hair stylists, beardos). Then practice! After a competition or party or whatever, make sure you wash out all of the products really well. The most important thing is to have fun and be proud of whatever style you choose. Also be sure to wet the moustache every-now-and-then with some Los Lonely Stars if you are into the whole beer thing.

MS: Is there any real animosity between the young beard enthusiasts like yourself and more traditional all natural old dudes? Say, similar to skiers versus snowboarders?

ALR: In general no, the old guys love most of us. When I was in Norway I spoke (mostly listened) to a couple of the German guys who were sayingthat they were sad that their own sons wouldn't compete. They are happy that young guys like us from the United States will help carry on the traditions. When they all started they were in their 30's too and just a bunch of totally ridiculous dudes partying in the 80's. Sometimes we need to
slow our roll at the serious competitions, but for the most part they love us.

MS: Is the movement getting bigger everyday, or is it a niche club where everyone is friends?

ALR: Man, this thing is getting pretty big but still somewhat limited. There are sometimes over 100 competitors at a competition and I've met guys who started clubs because of the TV show.

I don't think society is at the point where beards are mainstream again. Having that guy from the SF Giants celebrate his beard is a plus but not a lot of guys can go to a job with a 2ft beard. Austin, Portland, and the Silicon Valley can hang with beards, but lawyers, doctors or chefs have a hard time pulling them off. When was the last time our president had a beard? Why am I answering a question with two questions?

MS: Could you make bearding into a full time job, would you want to?

ALR: I enjoy my current full time job so much that it would be hard to quit it to do anything else. I don't think I have the patience to make my beard a full-time job. Maybe acting, playing in a band, or something else. I don't want to drive around in an RV promoting guitar strings or Tequila for a paycheck. I'd miss using my brain.

MS: Finally, is this a phase, or is it forever? Will we ever see your sweet face again?

This is my face!

MS: Will you lose all your strength if your beard is cut like Samson in the bible?

ALR: Nah, I'm sure I'd be equally as weak without a beard. Actually I might be stronger because I'd force myself to exercise since I wouldn't have the luxury of a giant beard to hide my man-boobs.
*

Alex LaRoche hails from Atlanta, Georgia and has worked for Apple computers for a million years. I'm pretty sure he's in charge of everything. He can be found smoking meats, inventing and brewing fancy beers, soaking his moustache in Lonestar, chillaxin' with his wife and giant dog (nicknamed "Pony") and generally kicking ass. Secret: He has dimples. I was so glad when he finally moved back to Texas.

BEARDING: An Interview with Allen Demling

MS: How long have you been growing your current, prize winning chin mink?

AD: That's actually a complicated question. I haven't been clean shaven in probably 9-10 years. But I did trim it when I had to get a job, so the hairs on this current face fro are probably about 6 years old. This is probably my 4th beard that I've grown out, but the longest by far.

MS: Many of my friends in the Austin Facial Hair Club have beard tattoos. Is this a prerequisite, an initiation ritual, or just beard culture in general?

AD: Tattoos should represent some object/experience/part of your life that you want to remember forever. I'm having a blast traveling around the country and around the world going to beard competitions with some of my best friends. I'm on a friggin' tv show for gods sake (even though its a reality show). I want to always remember this time in my life. And I think the rest of the guys want to remember it too. So we decided to get tattoos together. It's based on artwork by Bryan Keplesky, and each person added their own personal flavor to it. I added ruby eyes (fits with the theme of the blog) and a gold tooth. I really do love the guys in the AFHC and this is just one more way that bonds us together.

MS: Do you consider bearding a punk rock, anti-establishment pastime, a going back to your natural roots as a male, or just something to talk about while you drink beer with your friends?

AD: Well, it's strange. When I was punk rock I never grew a beard. Now that I have one I would describe myself more of a post-neo-alt-metal-punk-(not pop)-country guy who likes to party. I grew my first "large" beard when I was living in Chicago and the winters were too harsh to expose my delicate face to. But then I moved here and it's not really that strange to have a huge beard. Hell, I even have a "real" job that doesn't mind it. It is a great conversation starter that has lead to meeting a lot of cool people, and we do talk about it while sitting around drinking beers. But we talk about a lot of stuff while we sit around drinking beers. In fact, we're usually drinking beers no matter what we are doing.

MS: You have a sassy young girlfriend, do you find that women are more attracted to you with a beard than when you were clean shaven? Do they tend to be younger or older?

AD: Well, first of all, everyone in Austin seems to be younger than me. Matthew McConaughey was right about this town, they just stay the same age. I have found that with the beard, women are more likely to come up to me, rather than me having to make the first move. I never knew how many girls out there have a thing for beards until I started going to these beard competitions and seeing them fawn over the competitors. It's also a great ice breaker: "can I touch your beard?", "can I braid it?", "how long has it been?". But as you mentioned, I do have a sassy young girlfriend, who also happens to be extremely intelligent, funny and kind. One of the things I love most about her is that she isn't really into beards, which I hope means she likes me for other qualities than just my rugged good looks and model-like profile.

MS: Have you ever had a beard accident?

AD: One time a couple years ago I was riding my bike with an ex-girlfriend at 2am, and some frat dudes apparently didn't like the fact that we were taking up a traffic lane (since there wasn't a bike lane) and just laid on the horn. Eventually they squeezed between us, and zoomed past with about 1ft separating their car and my bike. I slammed my hand against their window, cause I was angry, and to let them know just how close they were. They then pulled over and jumped out of the car. The littlest one just started jumping around like he was going to box me, so 20 year old hot-headed Allen came out and decided to fight him. It only took about 15 seconds for him to grab my beard and pull a huge chunk out of it. It was about that time that I realized I can't get in any fights with this huge kryptonite hanging off my face, so I just pulled out my phone and called the cops (who, by the way, did absolutely nothing, despite giving them the license plate number). For a while it looked like some hipster barber tried giving me an asymmetrical beard trim.

MS: What is the weirdest thing you've ever had stuck in your beard?

AD: maybe an inch worm? There's probably a children's book there to be written, but I'll leave that to you.

MS: What are we going to do with Miletus?

AD: Slash his tires. (inside joke)

MS: You are somewhat of a local celebrity due to running for city council, and now the reality show Whisker Wars. Do you think your 15 minutes of fame is up or do you plan to ride your beard all the way to the top?

AD: I've been very fortunate, I think I've had more than my 15 minutes. But I also think that if you are an interesting/nice/genuine/hard working person, good things will happen. There are so many cool people doing interesting things in this town. Who knows whats next for me, but I'm just going to keep hanging out with my friends and enjoying life, and leave the rest up to the gods of Valhalla.

MS: What was the best/worst thing about being on the show?

AD: The best thing was getting to go to Norway. It's an amazing country, with a beautiful landscape, and the people are genuinely friendly. We participated in their Constitution Day Parade, and there must have been 20,000+ people lining the streets cheering us on (I'm not exaggerating, there were more people than I've seen at any Independence Day Parade I've ever been to). Also, it was russefeiring there. I will let you look that up yourself, but it was awesome. I would recommend Norway to anyone. I wouldn't say there is a worst thing, just a most uncomfortable thing. I'm actually a pretty shy person around people I don't know, so it is a little uncomfortable when people come up to me and ask for my picture or talk about my beard. I don't mind it, I just don't know what to talk about, so I'm worried that I end up seeming stand-offish.

MS: Do you get tired of people touching your beard, or does it just flatter you?

AD: I don't mind people touching my beard. But if my girlfriend is there, you'd better ask her permission first.

MS: I'm trying to imagine you as a kid, but you still have a beard on your kid face. Have you experimented with facial hair since puberty? Did you always have an interest in it?

AD: I actually didn't have facial hair till my senior year in college. I was pretty clean cut as a kid. Now I can't imagine myself without some sort of facial hair.

MS: Have you begun to secretly scorn men who are slaves to the razor, and do you think the world would be a better place if everyone let their face grow free?

AD: To each their own. I think everyone should at least try growing out their beards once, but if you don't like it that's your own prerogative. I'm not a big fan of people who tell others how they should dress or look or act. We already get enough of that from the mass media.

MS: Here's a free spot for a beard tirade:

AD: I know it's sappy and ridiculous, but I feel like the last couple of years have been the best in my life, and having a beard has been a big part of that. Doesn't that sound stupid? But I've met wonderfully awesome/artistic mommy bloggers, dudes who make one of the most hilarious zines in town, dudes in great bands, people who started their own businesses, etc. I can't dismiss the fact that having a beard may have been at least the catalyst that got us to get to know each other better and form lasting friendships. What a sap! ****

Allen Demling is a mechanical engineer residing in Austin, Texas and can be found rescuing treed kittens and sitting on patios, stroking his prize winning beard and thinking deep thoughts.