guest post: THE SECRET LIVES OF PARENTS by Alison Vaclav

Hi, friends and readers of Mama Storms. I am honored to be listed among you.

My name is Alison. I've lived in Austin 14 years. I am married to the magnificent Michael Vaclav. Together we have four crazy-hilarious-adorable kids ages 7, 5, 3, 1. Somewhere in the midst of all those diapers, play dates and sleepless-snuggle-filled nights, we managed to open our coffee shops called Caffe Medici. And right about now, you're probably thinking the one phrase I hear almost every time we go out and about, "Wow! You've got your hands full!"

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Seriously. I hear it at the grocery store, the coffee shop, the school, the playground, just walking down the street. Usually I smile happily and say, yep I do! Occasionally I just nod wishing they would add some action to their observation by holding the door open for me as a bungle through with my high-occupancy stroller. But whether peoples' comments are spoken with approval or disdain, the fact remains that we are quite an amusing bunch. I had not realized that big-family life would be such a spectacle. And it is, at least, it is in the places where we circulate.

Here is the thing about parenting: the hard parts are easy to observe. At the grocery store--the frantic mom with the wailer in the basket. At the restaurant--the embarrassed dad mopping milk and ketchup off the floor while the kids have trampoline time on the bouncy booth seats. At the stop light--mom misses the green light (UGH!) for being half-way in the backseat chucking snacks at screaming mouths. At the coffee shop--the saggy-eyed parent hovering by the pick-up counter oblivious to the muffin food fight waged beside her (oh, or is that just me?). Or the worn-out listless expression of the sleep deprived parent strolling their finally-snoozing-baby down the street, again, desperate for just a moment's peace. We have all seen it. And if you have kids, you have been there and remember it well.

These frequent and public episodes give parenting and big-family a bad rap. Like I said, they are easily observed and easily imagined when discussing family life. I could be wrong, but to me, it seems that the hard parts of parenting are often more public than the rewarding parts.

The sweet parts, the mind-blowing, heart-exploding parts of parenting are and often hidden. And the truth is, whether you have one or four kids, the love for your children is unimaginable. There is no way to describe how it feels when you hold your baby for the first time. How can you imagine the sudden and fierce willingness to die for a little person you hardly know. How can you guess what it feels like when your child kisses you tenderly, or writes you a note, or sweeps the floor because they know you are having a hard day? How can you understand the delight of watching siblings create limitless worlds of adventure together, or defend each other or giggle relentlessly when they should be sleeping? How can you know the deep joy of seeing your child deeply joyful until it happens? These are the moments you cannot predict and the casual observer rarely sees; they happen in your homes when no one is watching, in your living room, on your secret trail at the park. They happen in your heart and they are the very great reward for the sacrificial love and call of parenting. These moments more than make up for the hard parts.

So, I've learned that the hard parts are there and always will be, but the sweet surprises keep getting sweeter no matter how many kids I have. I am one lucky mama and consider myself very blessed to "have my hands full." And I am only up to age seven with my parenting experience!! I cannot imagine what it's like for those of you with high schoolers succeeding at things you never dreamed of, or those of you who have seen your kids grow up and become grown-ups. What's that like?!! I'd like to know, from those of you with kids young and old, what do you find most rewarding?

these are some of my "moments that make parenting worthwhile"

Our family "portrait"

Austin (at age 2)

Emerson (2 1/2)

Hannah's birth

Elia (at age 1 1/2) & Michael
My Super-Kids

Allison Vaclav is co-owner of Cafe Medici coffee boasting three locations in Austin and the best brew and bean baristas in town. She is a well read and brilliant chef, wife and of course, Mommy. She can be found drinking espresso at the West Lynn location, covered in baby kisses and enriching the lives of all around her.