father's day: Stolen!

 That's right. Today is supposed to be all about the boys, and my kiddos and I are the lucky recipients of the best daddies ever, but! I spent most of the afternoon thinking about how much I love being a mommy.

I was holding Jesse and he threw his chubby arms around my neck and laid his over-sized head on my shoulder and I started thinking about how amazing these little people are and how I love them so hard that it hurts. Children are kinda magic you know, they are so fresh and bright that you can still see God's fingerprints all over their faces. I really don't know how people can be both a parent and an atheist at the same time, they must not be paying attention to all the miracles.

Gosh I sound like a raging sap. Whatever. I was holding my little boy this morning and I just started crying. Not  that smiling, whisk a tear from one eye kind of crying, but the sobbing, sweating, saltwater face wash kind of weeping that you should never do in public. Puffy eyes, snorty, weird noises ghoulish mascara kind of debacle.

Sure, I could blame the soaring music of the musicians we were watching or the 6am bedtime I accidentally had because I was trying not to watch a scary movie in bed with Evan, but no! No excuses. I will own that being a mother will break you and make you into the best version of yourself, strong yet humble, indulgent but sacrificing, selfless but greedy for more. It also might turn you from a cool kid who trots the globe into a blubbering weirdo who only dreams of grassy pastures full of skipping children.

Sorry Evan for stealing your father's day thunder. not really

guest post: ONE-HANDED ART by Hannah Stoney

I have two children and I am an artist. Shayla and I have that in common, as well as the fact that we are both married to genius musicians.

The other day, as Shayla and I were watching our kids play she said "it's funny how they slow you down and speed you up at the same time." It is such a true statement that it merits a "yes" with an exclamation mark: yes! Shayla, you said it. Ain't that the truth.

Slow-You-Down.

Oh the double-edged, slow-you-down sword.
My smallest one is almost eight months old and over the last few weeks, I have just started to get back into making some art. I am in the zone. I'm inspired and I have about ten projects backed up in my head and I keep getting lost in line drawings like a tetris playing teenage boy. I would love to be able to just run with it but it's just not the season I am in. I have two small, beautiful people who trump it all.

Of course sometimes it feels frustrating but overall, the slow-you-down part has its own story, its own strange and playful fruit. I am slowed down enough to notice beautiful things. I am slowed down enough to make different kinds of art and explore different mediums. I started writing poetry during long chair-bound breastfeeding sessions. I notice more on our toddler-paced walks and take richer photos with longer stories behind them. I started making tiny videos whilst facilitating parks and playtime. And of course, there are crayons, costumes, race tracks and glueing.

Fallen Walking from Hannah Stoney on Vimeo.

Levi Bang gets the bus from Hannah Stoney on Vimeo.

Speed-You-Up.

It's a bit of a joke amongst my friends that once I get to my desk I am hyper-productive. Two-hands time is a precious commodity these days and so when I get it, I go for it.

It makes me feel a bit geeky to admit this but I also have a read/write/draw system. I have little projects, notepads and books dotted around my house and in my diaper bag and whenever I get a moment (and it usually is just a moment), I pounce on one of these activities. Many of my projects are the culmination of weeks of ten minute here-and-there steps. I am learning to be increasingly OK with. staccato. pacing. (See what I did there).

Here are some recent speed-you-up fruits. In the last month I have been working on shadow boxes, line drawings and paper cuts. I've been working towards all of these things for half a year. I'm not sure if I am really fast or really slow. ~

Hannah Stoney is a dedicated mother, writer and music lover with tons of talent, fashion and quiet kindness in her clever hands. She hails from across the pond and we are so lucky to have stolen her, along with her musical high school sweetheart and darling boys to help class up our town. I'm proud to have a piece of her art hanging in my home. check out her blog at the thinks.com.

guest post: THE SECRET LIVES OF PARENTS by Alison Vaclav

Hi, friends and readers of Mama Storms. I am honored to be listed among you.

My name is Alison. I've lived in Austin 14 years. I am married to the magnificent Michael Vaclav. Together we have four crazy-hilarious-adorable kids ages 7, 5, 3, 1. Somewhere in the midst of all those diapers, play dates and sleepless-snuggle-filled nights, we managed to open our coffee shops called Caffe Medici. And right about now, you're probably thinking the one phrase I hear almost every time we go out and about, "Wow! You've got your hands full!"

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Seriously. I hear it at the grocery store, the coffee shop, the school, the playground, just walking down the street. Usually I smile happily and say, yep I do! Occasionally I just nod wishing they would add some action to their observation by holding the door open for me as a bungle through with my high-occupancy stroller. But whether peoples' comments are spoken with approval or disdain, the fact remains that we are quite an amusing bunch. I had not realized that big-family life would be such a spectacle. And it is, at least, it is in the places where we circulate.

Here is the thing about parenting: the hard parts are easy to observe. At the grocery store--the frantic mom with the wailer in the basket. At the restaurant--the embarrassed dad mopping milk and ketchup off the floor while the kids have trampoline time on the bouncy booth seats. At the stop light--mom misses the green light (UGH!) for being half-way in the backseat chucking snacks at screaming mouths. At the coffee shop--the saggy-eyed parent hovering by the pick-up counter oblivious to the muffin food fight waged beside her (oh, or is that just me?). Or the worn-out listless expression of the sleep deprived parent strolling their finally-snoozing-baby down the street, again, desperate for just a moment's peace. We have all seen it. And if you have kids, you have been there and remember it well.

These frequent and public episodes give parenting and big-family a bad rap. Like I said, they are easily observed and easily imagined when discussing family life. I could be wrong, but to me, it seems that the hard parts of parenting are often more public than the rewarding parts.

The sweet parts, the mind-blowing, heart-exploding parts of parenting are and often hidden. And the truth is, whether you have one or four kids, the love for your children is unimaginable. There is no way to describe how it feels when you hold your baby for the first time. How can you imagine the sudden and fierce willingness to die for a little person you hardly know. How can you guess what it feels like when your child kisses you tenderly, or writes you a note, or sweeps the floor because they know you are having a hard day? How can you understand the delight of watching siblings create limitless worlds of adventure together, or defend each other or giggle relentlessly when they should be sleeping? How can you know the deep joy of seeing your child deeply joyful until it happens? These are the moments you cannot predict and the casual observer rarely sees; they happen in your homes when no one is watching, in your living room, on your secret trail at the park. They happen in your heart and they are the very great reward for the sacrificial love and call of parenting. These moments more than make up for the hard parts.

So, I've learned that the hard parts are there and always will be, but the sweet surprises keep getting sweeter no matter how many kids I have. I am one lucky mama and consider myself very blessed to "have my hands full." And I am only up to age seven with my parenting experience!! I cannot imagine what it's like for those of you with high schoolers succeeding at things you never dreamed of, or those of you who have seen your kids grow up and become grown-ups. What's that like?!! I'd like to know, from those of you with kids young and old, what do you find most rewarding?

these are some of my "moments that make parenting worthwhile"

Our family "portrait"

Austin (at age 2)

Emerson (2 1/2)

Hannah's birth

Elia (at age 1 1/2) & Michael
My Super-Kids

Allison Vaclav is co-owner of Cafe Medici coffee boasting three locations in Austin and the best brew and bean baristas in town. She is a well read and brilliant chef, wife and of course, Mommy. She can be found drinking espresso at the West Lynn location, covered in baby kisses and enriching the lives of all around her.

Dreamland

I recently was the lucky girl allowed access to the hallowed ground of a newborn house. If you are a parent yourself, you know what I'm talking about. It's the magical feeling of those first couple of weeks in which the tiny being you've waited 9 months to meet is living and breathing in your very own home and creates an aura of regal quietude that would seem a crime to dissipate.

Hey loved ones! Don't take it personally if you aren't invited to the birth or the baby nest within the first week. It is a very important time of bodily healing, falling in love with your husband all over again in his new role as nurse and Daddy, realizing that you have no idea how to be a parent and subsequently that the baby doesn't know what a parent is supposed to be like either.

The moment that your heart bursts with love for you new baby takes a few days. At first you just stare at it for hours on end. You figure out how to feed it. You sniff it's velvety head and touch it's impossibly tiny fingers. You wonder if you can keep it alive. You wonder how it got here and will it like you? Then, all of a sudden it washes over you like molten burning electric chocolate and you realize you would kill and die for this small, stinky, squalling red beast. You love it so much you can barely breathe and you kind of want to throw up. It's the best thing ever.