This is real. Real Texas.
I don't know this man's name, but I do wish I had been in attendance at The Misprint 6th annual Beard and Mustache Competition 2 nights ago. Instead, I was slinging irish car bombs to a bachelor party 30 feet away, listening to the cheering mobs as my bearded friends won prizes.
(p.s. he had a mustache shaved into his back hair, but I thought I'd spare those with weak constitutions)
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